[So if it weren't for having a fight with Tulip, he and Cassidy would have never met, and Cassidy would have never brought Eccarius' long life to such an abrupt humiliating end. How about that. Another reason to hate Tulip.]
[Whoop, sorry Tulip, forever digging her deeper into the Eccarius shit list.]
Takes the responsibility out of yer own hands, dontcha think? Leavin' shite to fate, o-or sayin' somethin' is thanks to fate, it removes your own achievements. Easy way to excuse shitty behaviour too.
[Briefly Cassidy's lip curls and nose scrunches in a sharp "wut??" face, but then he realises and can't help a few barking laughs as he props himself up on an elbow.]
Christ, not like that, love. She meant actual God. Not the fairy space wizard shite, she's talkin' mid-life crisis in a latex dog suit kind of God.
[Said in a tone that implies that what he sees, is that Cassidy has clearly gone round the bend, off his rocker, away with the fairies; so forth and so on.]
I swear on me life, in this shady basement, right? There he was, dog mask on and this form fittin' suit, on a leash with this mistress lady and-- christ, and all these "dog toys"-- [Finger quotes.] -- and dog treats. They were chargin' a bloody fortune for it.
[Thoughtful pause.]
Honestly wish I'd paid now. Not many folk can say they doggy styled it with God Almighty, eh?
[Cassidy does sound off his rocker, or just really high. It fits the same theme as almost every drunk/high story he rambles about, like the unicorn story all over again.]
[The touch is enough to draw him in, flopping onto his side and reaching out an arm to drape over Eccarius' waist.]
She'll give you plenty of chance now, I know it. At first she probably just thought you were some posh prick in frills, 'least now she knows your my posh prick in frills, eh?
Ooh, that's right. Not got any folk that need impressin' with all that lace no more. You know I'd be impressed with no clothes at all, but I doubt the public is ready for it.
[A slow grin and some genuine sounding excitement, all for the idea of getting his fancy boyfriend into something a little more "normal" every now and then.
If there's one thing that Eccarius might be able to learn from this world, is that fans like vampires no matter how gothic or vaudeville they look, especially if Cassidy's fanbase is anything to go by.]
[Don't he know it. And this is clearly why he'd do far better in some skinny jeans and a slim tee as far as Cassidy's concerned, get them muscles showing.]
Don't let your dreams be dreams, love, Anythin' is bloody possible in this world, I fully support any venture of yours for night time or indoor swimwear modelling. Obviously I'd have to come to every shoot, just for uh, quality control.
[Eccarius is perfectly within his right to plot murder and still accept affection, is how stable and healthy relationships work. What's a bit of revenge plotting between lovers?]
Look, I stand by that poser thing, but in me defence, I was more than a little hungover. Elephant tranqs and whiskey will do that to a fella. [But okay, it wasn't exactly love at first sight, he'll concede.]
Alright, fine, so maybe not quality testing. I could just be a fluffer. Do they got those on underwear shoots?
[Nothing like prospective murder to add a little spice to a relationship!]
I beg your pardon—you could be a what, now?
[In the 350 or so years he's been walking this Earth, Eccarius has seen and done a lot of things, but his knowledge of porn films definitely pales in comparison to Cassidy's.]
Cassidy. Love. I'm fairly certain that in swimsuit, or underwear modeling for that matter, a 'jolly little fella' is exactly what they don't want. Unless it's some sort of sex underwear advert, in which case, you'd be more than welcome.
[Eyebrow arch right backatcha buddy.]
Having actual sex, for one thing. No professional fluffing required.
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[So if it weren't for having a fight with Tulip, he and Cassidy would have never met, and Cassidy would have never brought Eccarius' long life to such an abrupt humiliating end. How about that. Another reason to hate Tulip.]
Why don't you believe in fate?
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Takes the responsibility out of yer own hands, dontcha think? Leavin' shite to fate, o-or sayin' somethin' is thanks to fate, it removes your own achievements. Easy way to excuse shitty behaviour too.
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There are some who equate fate with divine will. Seems like your friend Tulip might be one of them, talking directly to God as she does.
[presumably]
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Christ, not like that, love. She meant actual God. Not the fairy space wizard shite, she's talkin' mid-life crisis in a latex dog suit kind of God.
[Because that explains everything.]
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...dear lord, what have you been smoking?
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[And now that he's thinking about just how much Eccarius doesn't know, he really wishes he was smoking right the fuck now.]
Mate, God was in Nola. Practically down the road from ya.
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[Said in a tone that implies that what he sees, is that Cassidy has clearly gone round the bend, off his rocker, away with the fairies; so forth and so on.]
You saw Him, did you?
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[Thoughtful pause.]
Honestly wish I'd paid now. Not many folk can say they doggy styled it with God Almighty, eh?
[Cassidy does sound off his rocker, or just really high. It fits the same theme as almost every drunk/high story he rambles about, like the unicorn story all over again.]
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[Eccarius sighs.]
This sounds amazingly like an acid trip—you do realize that, don't you?
[And a thousand times more likely than reality, given Cassidy's habits.]
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[He flops onto his back once more with a "huff". He won't push it, he's got nothing to gain or achieve by trying to prove himself right.]
My point is, she's not some bleedin' lunatic. She's a good mate, y'just gotta give her a chance.
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[But even then... eh.
He rolls a little onto his side, facing towards Cassidy and brushing soothing fingers over his cheek. ]
You know I would do anything for you, love. Although I think perhaps it's she who's not giving me a chance.
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She'll give you plenty of chance now, I know it. At first she probably just thought you were some posh prick in frills, 'least now she knows your my posh prick in frills, eh?
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Time will tell, I suppose. Perhaps I need to do a little shopping for something less... frilly.
[It's not as though he needs to keep up the romantic gothic vampire act anymore
...probably.]
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[A slow grin and some genuine sounding excitement, all for the idea of getting his fancy boyfriend into something a little more "normal" every now and then.
If there's one thing that Eccarius might be able to learn from this world, is that fans like vampires no matter how gothic or vaudeville they look, especially if Cassidy's fanbase is anything to go by.]
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[He is more well-built than he looks, under all those layers of velvet and brocade.]
A pity I can't be a swimsuit model.
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Don't let your dreams be dreams, love, Anythin' is bloody possible in this world, I fully support any venture of yours for night time or indoor swimwear modelling. Obviously I'd have to come to every shoot, just for uh, quality control.
[And not at all just to stare.]
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You? Quality control? As much as I love you, my darling, the very idea makes me shudder. Clearly you would need to perform some... other function.
[Despite the slight, he's looking at Cassidy with true fondness in his eyes, forgetting for the moment how much he hates him.]
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[He's huffing out an exhale of amusement as he nuzzles in close.]
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You certainly didn't think so in the beginning, if I recall correctly.
[He sounds a little wounded at that, but there's more mischievousness than injury in his eyes.]
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Look, I stand by that poser thing, but in me defence, I was more than a little hungover. Elephant tranqs and whiskey will do that to a fella. [But okay, it wasn't exactly love at first sight, he'll concede.]
Alright, fine, so maybe not quality testing. I could just be a fluffer. Do they got those on underwear shoots?
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I beg your pardon—you could be a what, now?
[In the 350 or so years he's been walking this Earth, Eccarius has seen and done a lot of things, but his knowledge of porn films definitely pales in comparison to Cassidy's.]
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[He pulls back enough to arch an eyebrow at Eccarius.]
Christ, mate, what have you even been doin' with yourself these last few centuries if not watchin' a shite lot of porn?
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[Eyebrow arch right backatcha buddy.]
Having actual sex, for one thing. No professional fluffing required.
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[Says the guy just mocking Eccarius for not knowing how something works.]
Some of them models got quite the bulge on 'em, figured maybe they get a little help for a half chub.
And d-don't even start with this "actual sex" shite. You can do both.
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[Not that he actually knows how these things work either, mind you.]
Generally, people who watch a lot of porn use it as a substitute for the real thing. Wanking material.
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